On Psychology

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You are what you tell yourself

I hate it when people put themselves down, because it becomes self-fulfilling. “I can’t do this, I can’t do that”… Of course you can’t, you’ve already convinced yourself it’s impossible! How can you even begin if you’ve cut yourself off at the legs? This may seem obvious, but take it a step further – it extends to attributes that aren’t necessarily bad. Labels matter, especially the ones we give ourselves. They determine who we are. For instance, I used to call...

Willpower

Don’t depend on it. You are weak. If you depend on willpower, you will falter, and you will falter often. Your dreams will fall by the wayside as you find yourself unable to sustain persist the long-term. You will be crushed, and it will be your fault. Don’t feel bad. I’m weak too. That’s why I spend so much time thinking about tricks and tactics that don’t depend on willpower, or minimize its effects. I am weak, and I know that,...

Sometimes I forget

Sometimes I forget what I’ve learned. I forget how valuable talking to myself can be. I forget that I have a trigger that leads to writing. I forget that I don’t have to write, I get to. I always kick myself when I forget, but most of the time I remember eventually. I falter, but I get back up again, take up my old skill or trick, and keep moving forward. The key is to keep moving. The only way...

Trigger

If you’re having trouble motivating yourself to write, to exercise, to go to class, or do much of anything that you need to do repeatedly over the long-term, here’s a practical tip for you: create an easy trigger that leads to the action. That way you don’t have to force yourself to start the hard thing, just pull your trigger. That’s much easier. This works because we’re all like Pavlov’s dogs. Ring the bell and food comes, and soon the bell will...

The limits of talent

Many people think that we all have natural talents which can never be changed. “I’m a word guy” or “I’m really good at math”. People think of these proclivities as immovable realities that can never be changed. I disagree. Now to be fair, there are limits. Most of you never had a chance to become an NBA player, whereas I, who stands at 6’7″ (200cm), did. (Don’t worry, I squandered it gloriously.) But outside of that, the limits are far...

What I’m afraid of

Fear is an insidious thing. It can change our behavior without our even knowing it. Today I have a question for all of you: what are you afraid of? Here, I’ll go first. I’m afraid I won’t be able to back up all of my bullshit. I’m afraid I’m not nearly as good as I think I am. I’m afraid that I’ve spent all this time writing a dud, and the closer I get to the day when I’ll find...

Fear is good

“But here’s the dirty little secret: Fear is good. It keeps you from becoming a crappy doctor. Trick is you just can’t let it paralyze you.” -Dr. Cox, Scrubs I’ve been thinking about fear a lot lately. I think fear is one of the biggest reasons why people don’t let themselves do great things, and it’s really not necessary. That said, I should clarify. Not all fear is bad. There are two kinds of fear: the fear that makes you cower,...